Number 8 Suckiest – Deviating from the story in the book
"As someone who has attempted (har har) to write screenplays herself, I understand that they have to be action, action, action and not so much with the ooey-gooey lovey-dovey talking. However… this is “Twilight”, so who went into that theater expecting “Die Hard”? All jokes aside, there is no reason to deviate so much from the book. Outline the plot of the book; take out all of the important, famous, beloved scenes. Do the same thing for the dialogue. The fact that Bella and Edward’s meadow was just a flicker on the screen (faster than Kristen Stewart’s blinking) was a huge mistake, not only because it is so important in New Moon but also because it is beloved to its fans."
Biologi schmiologi
"The fact that the blood-typing scene was removed and replaced with that – what the frick?! – field trip that focused too much on Eric, Jessica and the teacher is beyond infuriating. Where was Mike helping Bella to the nurse? Where was Edward sweeping in with that concerned look on his face? I was really (probably more than I should) looking forward to seeing him steal her out of Mike’s weak-by-comparison arms and carrying her off to the nurse like a white knight. And that sexy line of his instructing her not to look at the fellow patient? Ah, you kill me, Summit! Catherine! Melissa! Whomever I should blame! You suck!"
Jeg erkjenner at jeg har blogget for lite om Butcrack Santa.
"How about this odd diner where Bella and Charlie go to eat all the time? Hello, she cooks for him in the book; it’s a big bonding thing between them, she takes care of her old man. Just like she’s used to doing with her mother; which is key to why her character is so much more mature than the other ditzy high school gals. Not to mention there’s a whole lot of dialogue and important action that happens in their damn kitchen. (“Charlie’s at the funeral.” College applications. Awkward three-way dinners. Come on!) Why are we in this freaking restaurant? With this no-name waitress that is getting way more screen time than she should! With these nosy freaking fellow diners who wanna know about this police investigation that – oh that’s right – never even took place to begin with! Argh!"
Guyliner-Edward.
"And of course, one who is being critical can not pass by the scene with Emo-Edward dressed like a My Chemical Romance wannabe, picking up a limp, bored-looking Bella and sucking her neck, then looking up at the camera through his guyliner and bangs. Listen closely, Summit. Edward does not equal Pete Wentz. Ugh. If this is the best that Bella can fantasize, well damn, get the girl some Harlequin romance novels. (Or hand her this book, ha ha.) The bottom line is, with so much good material, what are you doing putting this garbage in the “Twilight” movie? It’s a famous best-seller for a reason. What makes you think you can do better? And if so, why haven’t you already?"
Number 8 Greatest – Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black
"While I am biased now because I have seen him shirtless - (er, I mean) - I have seen him filming “New Moon” where he actually has a character to play, I am really glad to have Taylor Lautner on board. He’s perfectly cast because he is just as Stephenie Meyer described Jacob Black. Cute, sweet little smile, but still he has a mischievous, bite-your-lip kind of look, with that wildness thundering through his bloodstream. He looks like the younger neighbor who seems harmless and sweet, but suddenly you find you have a crush on him. Until the tame boy grows into a big sexy wolf man and saves your life, ya know. That happens to all of us."
Jacob. Så håpefull. Så forfeilet.
"I think the most important thing here is acknowledging that Taylor is able to play both sides of Jacob Black. He was young enough to play him in the beginning, but also worked his rear off to get in shape and play him convincingly in the next film when he springs up like a weed. A muscular, toned, ripped weed. Ahem – anyways! He understands the dichotomy and captures it well. Thank goodness for you, Taylor Lautner!"
Number 7 Suckiest – The ballet studio scene
"Oh, the moment a year ago when we should have known we were doomed. This clip gets shown on MTV and everyone screams their heads off… until they finish processing what they’ve seen. What – wait a minute there.
First, I loved the intensity. This is supposed to be a terrifying moment, and they… well, they tried. The unbelievable fast-moving vampire garbage takes it toll on this scene, weighing it down like a fat girl on a raft. As does the poorly-choreographed fighting and horrible effects. Did I just see Edward “hi-ya!” kick James into a mirror? Um… alrighty then. Guess Edward hung out with Jackie Chan off-screen at some point. Moving on."
James.
"Look, they got most of it right. However, when Emmett, Jasper and Alice take care of James… it looks appallingly fake. Alice ripping his head off was awesome, until your brain processes the image and chokes. That’s not a pleasant feeling, to gag inside your skull.
But the part that wounded me the most involved Edward, Carlisle and a flailing Bella. Carlisle instructs Edward to suck out the venom; Edward worries that he won’t be able to stop. Then, hoping not to kill the woman he loves, he begins. Only, for some reason, the tone is changed from tense to… (sleepy?) with the ballad coming into the background (which, I like the song, but I don’t think it fits the scene… at all.) Edward loses his friking mind and can’t stop sucking Bella’s blood. As insulting as this is to fans of the book, Carlisle then proceeds to scold him and warn him that he’s killing her. No! While this clearly illustrates the danger in their relationship, it doesn’t do anything to add to the romantic tension of their love story. (At this point in the film that ship had sailed.) Instead, it makes Edward look like some weird psychopath and Bella’s eyes to go crossed. I concede, it never explicitly states whether or not Edward had trouble stopping at that part in the book, but… it certainly never left me with the impression that he was seconds from killing her (or that for a moment in his brain, he actually wanted to). If that was the case, wouldn’t Carlisle give him a swift palm to the forehead and wake his dumb@$$ up? There’s no way he would have knelt next to him and watched him kill her, after knowing how much she means to him. Boo."
"I will make it go away"
Number 7 Greatest – The Cullen’s baseball scene
"Frankly, I go back and forth on these two. They could easily be reversed. But, the terrible special effects aside, (and that guitar riff, oh dear lord, what is that? This ain’t the Power Rangers movie!), the chemistry between the group really comes to life here. They actually look like a family, rather than a group of actors shoved together in front of a camera. Add that to the sounds of Muse’s “Supermassive Black Hole” playing in the background? At first, I’ll admit, I was disappointed they chose this Muse song over all the others… I had wanted some dramatic, romantic, apocalyptic (had to round out the –ic words) song for the movie… but I agree that this song fits just so perfectly here."
Robward i boblejakka si. Og noe med en caps og pastime.
"Now for the moments to oogle over. Edward putting the cap on Bella, oh so cute and very Edward, the whole taking-care-of-her thing. Pretty waterfall, nice touch. They really didn’t neglect the natural scenery in this film at all. I grinned when I saw Rosalie and Emmett teasing each other, and I grinned even wider at Esme’s line, “Oh, I know you cheat.” Rosalie being a grump, check. Ah, and I love Jasper toying with the bat right before he steps up to the plate, yes! Alice’s dainty little kick as she pitches the ball, and the sort of gross comment from Rosalie about her monkey man… that fits so well into what we know of her tendency to over-share about their (hers and Emmet’s) sex life. And I can’t begin to tell you how thrilled I was to see Bella’s hair in the wind, that being the thing that sets James off. But all of that afterglow came to a screeching halt as I saw our beloved Cullen’s hunch over like bad caricatures of The Lion King. C’mon Catherine. High school drama clubs do better than this. (I should know as I suffered through one for four years!)"
Løvenes konge?
"Hang on. Anybody, EVER, catch that line that Bella says after Edward gets in the car? “What now-we-ah-eee-coming after me?” What does she say there, please someone help me."
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